27 Thursday Jan 2011
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I was feeling…I don’t know what to name the feeling. But I was feeling it. I picked up one of my old journals, from 2005, opened it up and found this…
We always want the Holy Spirit to fix what’s broken. He’s here to prevent it.
There are some things in our lives that need to be fixed and some things that we needed to just say no to.
21 Tuesday Sep 2010
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Ok, so the title of this clip by Pastor Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill Church pretty much sums up how I have felt since I have start working. My issue isn’t one that many of us do not face. We are all taught to be worker bees and multitasking to be more productive. But is it really? This is a shorter version of a longer sermon that can be viewed on Pastor Driscoll’s church website www.marshillchurch.org called Mary and Martha and references Luke 10:38-42:
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I often hear about others countries who work far less, allow longer vacations and even lunch hours for employees. Do you think we don’t value quiet time because it seems unproductive?
14 Tuesday Sep 2010
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What is it about high school reunions that freak people out so much? In the past year, I have skipped out on about three events that would have reunited me and my old classmates. I didn’t really miss these events; I avoided them. A big part of me wanted to go, and catch up with people I spent four of my most awkward years with. And another big part of me views high school like a big paperweight that holds down a part of me.
Well, I have decided to attend an alumni event coming up this weekend, and to be honest I am scared. High school was a traumatic time for many people, and I had a particularly hard time. Not only had I not embraced my inner weirdo (which I love now, by the way), but I had so many embarrassing, mean-spirited and life changing events happen back then, I just know seeing those faces and walking back into that building will cause emotions to surface that I haven’t dealt with in years. I don’t particularly care about the football game that I am attending, but I feel I need to go to conquer this fear inside of me that I know is irrational.
What’s the worst thing that could happen seeing some of the folks I haven’t seen in years? I mean, really, Facebook has alleviated a lot of those unanswered questions about where everyone is, what they look and superficially what they look like. I’ve seen so many former classmates over the past years, who have updated me on the weddings, the babies and the deadbeats of my class, that I am prepared to see the best and the worst. I think though the worst thing that could happen during alumni weekend is that I will be treated like the little unsure high school girl that I was more than 10 years ago, or I will allow someone to treat me that way.
Since 1999 I have had a lot of ups and a lot of downs. I have become wise, sure and I don’t take any mess from anyone. I have been fairly successful in life, and I still look cute! The most important and radiating change I have made was giving my life to Jesus Christ. I am just a sliver of who I was, and so sure now of who I am. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
I will be praying for an enlightening, engaging and excited experience with my old friends that will help me to forgive and not be judgmental. I am going to radiate an attitude of confidence and friendliness and be inviting to all the people I see. According to 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” I know nothing bad is going to happen, and I know I am just trippin! I know so many people look at revisiting high school as a scary experience. But through my faith, and my courage to conquer this fear, I know God is going to look out for me!
26 Monday Jul 2010
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To relieve the misfortunes of our fellow creatures is concurring with the deity; it is godlike. [But, he added,] if we provide encouragement for laziness, and support for folly, may we not be found fighting against the order of God and Nature, which perhaps has appointed want and misery as the proper punishments for, and cautions against, as well as necessary consequences of, idleness and extravagance?
Benjamin Franklin
Growing up, I was such a pushover. It’s not that I was scared of people. I just was never really taught how to say no. I went through middle school, high school, college and my early 20s before I was comfortable enough to say no to my associates and those I love. Many of us are plagued with being too nice. And as Christians, it is even harder! Who can tell Mother Johnson no when she asked can you help her tend her garden…every Saturday…for the next three months. Sure, you are not interested and you do have things to do. But will God look at us funny for telling people?
Once I learned how to say no, I was like a baby who learned her first word. I told everybody no! I went through a period where I was “doing me” and felt the power of no. And though it was hard to tell people I love that I couldn’t help them, I did it for me, and for them. There is truly a difference between being mean and helping people to make their own decisions. I have balanced my decisions with discernment and prayer, but even though I have moved passed being a people pleaser, I still sometimes, almost, kinda feel bad when I have to tell people no. And then sometimes, I think people need a dose of tough love.
Sometimes when we begin to learn about the love of God, we confuse that with being pitifully meek and turning the other cheek at every incident so that we don’t look like a “bad Christian.” Many of us over extend ourselves tirelessly helping people who choose not to help themselves, because we want to show them the meaning of Christian love. Of course, God wants you to overextend yourself to help those who need help, as Luke 14:13 says, “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind.” Are really helping those who are really in need, or helping those who are afraid to help themselves?
Enabling (doing things for others that they could or should be doing for themselves) cripples everyone involved. The enabler wastes time and serenity trying to make someone feel loved by doing things for them instead of letting them learn to do things for themself. The enablee reaps the benefits of spoils without emotional, financial or physical work. They never learn to face the ups and downs of life because people do it for them. Many people begin thinking they won’t survive unless people help them, and do not lean on the wisdom and values of hard work that is taught throughout the Bible.
People often say, “what would Jesus do,” when facing moral dilemmas, and when it comes to tough love. The first example of tough love in the Bible is how God treated Adam and Eve when they ate from the tree of knowledge. He surely punished them by given us menstrual pains (thanks Eve) and making Adam toil the Earth! Imagine if God would have taken it easy on them, or gave them another chance? Jesus healed sinners by attacking the root of their issue and rebuking their behavior. There was a process as He healed. He didn’t just give drunkards money for more wine. He removed their urge to drink and told them to sin no more!
We can help people to learn about God, but we cannot change them. I cannot make a man not steal. I cannot make my friends get a job. I cannot beg and plead for my relatives to do the right things. The decisions they make are their own, and I don’t believe that God wants us chasing after folk cleaning up their messy lives. God is the only being I know who can transform a person. And the last time I checked, none of us are God. We have God in us, and we can surely show who God is through are speech, behavior and actions, but there are some things in other people’s lives that we just can’t burden ourselves with. Saying no to someone you love just might be the best thing that can happen to them!
Does God enable us? No. Does he sometimes, a lot of the times, show us love in a very hands off approach? Yes. Can you say that you love Him any less because he has helped you to learn things by trial and error and not always mercy and grace? Even in trial and error, we are still given sufficient grace! As we examine our own personal relationships, it is important to look at what you expect from others. Do you expect others to erase your errors, understand your mistakes and guard you against the world? Are you more of an asset or a liability to your friends, family or community? Or are you in a perpetual state of “getting your life together?” Who do you expect to help you when you cannot help yourself…your friends, your family or God?
There is a thin line between love and enabling. Make sure that you are praying and talking to God in a rut, and when helping others so that you are not making someone’s life harder by stopping them from learning their lessons. If you are constantly feeling sorry for people or feeling sorry for yourself, I think The Serenity Prayer is one that addresses the needs of both parties. God wants us all to have a full and abundant life, and not be a burden to those, but seek to help those who are truly in the dark.
The Serenity Prayer For the Enabler and The Enablee
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
19 Monday Jul 2010
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My Myself & I...not the trio we should be relying on
The song Me Myself & I by Beyonce used to be a mantra of mine. As I was coming out of my silly days as a college student and being more picky with the men I shared my time with, I heard this song and wrapped my mind around the strong idea that my newfound standards in men might just leave me single for life. In the song, Beyonce somberly sings, “I know that I will never disappoint myself,” and beckons for her legion of single ladies to deal during the man drought that awaits a girl in her mid to late 20s.
Solitude and isolation are states that many of us ladies are far too familiar with. In my dating droughts, it seemed that I was OK. I had a good job, bought a home and a bright future. Though I had learned to be a little more discriminate than I was in my early 20s, my loneliness was still causing me to make bad decisions. I was still giving the wrong parts of my self to the wrong people. In turn, I was subjecting myself to long bouts of isolation and solitude, disguising it as “working on me.” This vicious cycle ended, by the grace of God, when I began to learn that life by myself is not what God wants from me. He wants us all to have healthy, solid relationships. He wants us to be fulfilled, and not lonely. He cares that we cry alone at night sometimes. Having a boyfriend didn’t solve that feeling, but loving God sure did.
It is becoming glamorous to be single and emotion-less. If you watch 106 & Park on BET, you will notice that many female artists are adopting the pimpish lifestyle that men adopted. They are having random sex, without feeling (so they think) and not even expecting to have a meaningful relationship with a man. I tried the Sex & The City dating lifestyle for a while, and let me tell you, thinking that you can date around with no emotional and physical repercussions is a lie. No matter how hard core and heartless you think you are, the heart doesn’t lie. Once your body is involved with another’s body, it is like a string attaches you to them forever.
So what does the Bible say about singleness, desperate and lonely women? Lot’s daughters are two women who panicked during a perceived man drought and made a bad decision. After being delivered from Sodom and Gomorrah, a place full of sin, they noticed that they were the only ones left. “One day the older daughter said to the younger, ‘Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father’”(Genesis 19:31-32). Okay, so you may not have resorted to sleeping with your dad, but ladies, how many of us have been delivered from being in a terrible state, yet still believes that God will not take care of you? Many ladies today are coming up with all kinds of theories about dating: they want to be cougars, they want to only date men who make a certain amount of money, they only want men with a degree, they want to be lesbian or bisexual, they only call a man back after 10 days, etc. These theories that women are coming up with are causing us to do stupid and silly things out of desperation and not out of God’s will.
Imagine what Lot’s daughters had been through. They lived in a wicked, sexually immoral society (some of us can say we live there too), God just destroyed city in a horrific way by setting it on fire, and their mother, who could not let go of their past, had just been turned into a pillar of salt; it looked like it was the end of the world for them! Was it out of line for them to think that there was a possibility that they would not be able to have children? No. What they did wrong was not learn to wait on God. These ladies were the descendants of Abraham and Sarah who (hello!) had children well into their 90s and 100s. Without the use of fertility drugs. Would God really bring them (or you) out of mess and not provide a way to continue on? Just because we can’t see the solution, it doesn’t mean there is no solution! Just because statistics say that the older a woman gets, the less likely she will get married and have kids, it doesn’t mean that you are destined to loneliness and isolation. Taking things into your own hands is certainly a way to end up unhappy.
So what is the repercussion of Lot’s daughters having these children, Moab and Benammi, with their father. Well, these children spawned tribes that become enemies of Israel. In fact, Deuteronomy 23:3 says,” No Ammonite or Moabite or any of his descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD, even down to the tenth generation.” The descendants of these children were not allowed to fraternize with the Israelites for 10 generations. We know that these kids were genetically mixed up. But think about emotionally and spiritually how mixed up they were due to the fact that their grandfather was their dad? Now think how many children are all messed up because their parents brought themselves together, and not God.
What are the consequences and repercussions of us making our own decisions when it comes to dating? Do we make our own selves more miserable than necessary? Being single is so different than being lonely. I missed out on so much time with my extended family, my church, volunteering and being around young people who needed me, worrying about whether I’d have a man or not. We are excepting loneliness, instead of waiting on God to assign us to those who need us the most. I am afraid that these thinly-veiled songs celebrating singleness are really pushing women into more loneliness and isolation. Nothing, not even childbirth at the age of 90, is impossible for God. I am sure if you pray for God for people to fill your life, your home will be full!
07 Wednesday Jul 2010
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There is a loud-mouthed, rude, head-wagging witch inside of me who has been begging to get out lately. I have been receiving the blessings that I have asked for. I have been diligently seeking God, and spending time with Him throughout my days. And I am thankful for everything God has been doing for me and the people I love. But there she is. That witch that wants to bite off everybody’s head.
What is she doing here, and where does she come from? I have definitely been feeling stressed out lately. A good kind of stress, so I thought. I love my new job. I love the new structure in my life. I have been eating better and working out. I have a tan and my hair is growing like crazy. But I just haven’t had time to be me for a while. Maybe a few hours, but not for any extended period of time. I think that is where the witch comes from. She is the little kid inside of me, who isn’t allowed to play and be silly, so she is having a temper tantrum perhaps?
Everyone needs some downtime, where they can unwind and not have to put on a show for anyone. Time where they can be ugly and loungy. You don’t know how much you need that time until you don’t have it anymore. I am trying to find some scriptures to meditate on so that my stress level will subside and the person I am trying to fake on the outside will line up with the person on the inside. What I keep seeing is this:
For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths
Proverbs 5:21
So regardless of how I feel, I am going to try my hardest to be nice because God is watching. Nothing is going on that bad that I should just throw Jesus out the window and let the little witch take over. I am going to continue to count my blessings, and wait for this nervous, stressful energy to pass out of my life. I will not allow it to change me.
07 Monday Jun 2010
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God is funny. And He is right all of the time. All of us are looking for peace and satisfactions, whether we admit to it or not. Whatever a person does, no matter how crazy it is, what it really boils down to is peace, love and satisfaction. I think when a person is lacking in one of those areas, it causes a chain reaction in other peoples’ lives. If X person is without peace, he pushes that onto Y person and before you know it Z is affected.
I say God is funny because those three things that I mentioned, peace, love and satisfaction, don’t come from people or things. And we cause ourselves so much stress and get so distracted trying to extract it out of things that simply don’t have it. People may get along with you for extended periods of time. They may be quiet and cause no problems. They may genuinely love you the best that they can. But they will inevitably disappoint you, because we are all flawed. None of us can perfectly satisfy another person all the time. Even with extended efforts. It just cannot be. So when we get mad at people for not being who we think they should be, we have to remember that THEY are not the key to our happiness.
Neither are things. God saw it in my will to give me a job and has been blessing me financially in ways that I never imagined. And I am thankful, don’t get me wrong. But those blessings are not they key to my peace, either. Because money comes…and money goes. Things are great, and then they break. And you need money to fix or replace them. Or you use it all up and you need more. And the hunger for things never goes away. It never provides you any satisfaction. As much as you love your house, car, makeup or clothes, they can’t love you back. They can’t comfort you or make life any better when you think about it.
Once again, I say God is funny, because how many times did He have to tell ME this!
Solomon says:
All man’s efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied.
What advantage has a wise man over a fool?
What does a poor man gain by knowing how to conduct himself before others?Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite.
This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.Ecclesiastes 6:7-9
He also said in Ecclesiastes 5:10-11:
Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income.
This too is meaningless.As goods increase, so do those who consume them.
And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them?
Jeremiah 17:5-6 says:
This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.
Jesus says:
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6: 19-21
Jesus also says:
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life
Matthew 25:27
And on and on! The Bible says so many things about not trusting man and stuff to make us feel good. Depending on God is the only way to feel real satisfaction and love in this life. I thank God for dealing with me and my foolishness at times, because as I keep that thought at my forefront, it peels away all of my stresses and anxieties.
I hope this message helps you to put your problems in the proper perspective. Instead of trying to make people understand you and get more things to feel better, turn to the Bible and God will let you know that your problem is not people and stuff…it’s YOU and where your trust lies.
14 Friday May 2010
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Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own
Matthew 6:34
I am amazed and humbled at what God is doing for me and the people I love! When we worry about things, we are showing God that we don’t trust Him. People like to say, the opposite of worrying is prayer. So every time you begin to worry about something, try thanking God for being a provider and a comforter. God cares and knows about your problems and wants you to live happy!
Today I am grateful for:
Expanded influence and opportunity
Meeting and reacquainting myself with people who love God
Financial blessings
Friends who aren’t scared to tell me when I’m wrong
My family and their uniqueness
What are you thankful for?
