Mastering My Feelings

Tags

feelings, Jesus

How wrong are your feelings? I don’t know about you, but mine are always wrong, wrong, wrong. I feel like its raining outside, and it’s sunny. I feel like eating cookies and ice cream when I shouldn’t. People say things all the time about how they feel like people are talking about them, who knows if that is true? Our perception allows us to form a feeling without sufficient evidence all the time. How many of us let road rage make us upset, not knowing that the person who cut you off in the other car could have been having a terrible day, rushing to the hospital or worse. We base decisions and actions off of feelings, and after years of this practice, I’m not quite sure it has been the best way.

I have been going through a really hard time lately. My feelings led me in a situation where I hurt someone else’s feelings so now, with damaged feelings, decisions were made that may not have been the best. In John 14, Jesus tells us twice, “let not your heart be troubled.” I’ve thought about this verse, one that people quote regularly when dealing with troubles. I noticed the command being given: you (implied) don’t allow your heart to be troubled. Does God give us a choice in what to feel? Do we control whether we are troubled? And if so, do we have control over our other emotions and feelings…like lust, anger, happiness, frustration, etc.?

This is a huge revelation for me. As an artist, and a woman, I have based so much of who I am off of my emotions. I’ve often been called moody, and even embraced it. Is moody who I am, or is it a choice? Is moody an excuse for me to be attitudy? Have I been allowing my emotions to run my life, experiencing purely through my rose-tinted perceptions and not truth?

This not to deny our emotions. Feelings color our lives. They are natural, human responses. A healthy person should feel anger, hurt, happiness and sad and express it without backlash. But in my case, I think those feelings have been more wrong than right. I am often mad at friends because of miscommunications. I have wasted hours and energy thinking someone has forgetting about me or something I have asked them. And I was wrong. Have you ever been mad because someone was supposed to call you, only to find out your phone was turned off? An emotion can light a flame that causes you unrest. All emotions are necesary to live, and none of them are bad. But I now understand they are not always right. And I should not base my actions off of emotions.

So how does a moody, artsy girl like me move from being the conductor of the emotional rollercoaster to a plain jane? Right before Jesus says, “let not your heart be troubled,” he says in John 14:27:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I’ve used this as, “Jesus, I am a wreck right now. But you told me I have control over my troubled heart. And I am asking you to help me not to be troubled. I love you and thank you for peace.”

I am learning that I cannot let my troubles rule me. My happiness is sometimes even false. My fears are ridiculous. I love the way I feel things, but expressing and acting on those feelings isn’t always the best. The world tells us to do all of these things with our emotions. The world tells us anger is wrong, lust is the best, happiness comes in a pill, sadness is corrected with a pill. The world says love is a feeling and it is not. The world tells you to either be radical with how you feel or numb feelings into non-existence. Really, all those emotions we have are just atmosphere over our lives. They are there to be experienced, to be felt, but not to be internalized. Peace is the goal.

sifted like wheat…

Tags

attitudes, faith, Jesus, sin, wisdom

There are some things we believe in our lives that are just lies, flat out. I hear people lie about themselves all day, everyday. My hair is natural, and I often hear people tell me, ‘I don’t have hair like you, my hair is too nappy to wear natural.’ As I attempt to clean up my diet and health, people say, ‘ I can’t eat healthy, I need to eat greasy food everyday.’ I often hear men say things like…’I'm just a pimp or a thug, that’s who I am I can’t change.’ Well, who told you that these things and attitudes were correct?

Satan, the author of lies, tells people everyday that there is something about leading a healthy, peaceful life in a walk with Jesus Christ is unattainable. I think the enemy loves it when we use our cloudy emotions or past failures to justify being stagnant.

In Luke 22:31-32 Jesus says:

And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

When I hear that, I get an image in my head of grain being shaken through a strainer, separating the larger pieces from smaller ones. Believe it or not, I don’t have much experience with how grain and wheat is produced (that’s a joke), so I did some research:

Manual Threshing

Manual threshing

The first step in process of sifting wheat is to loosen the chaff from the edible grain, which is called threshing. The old fashioned way to do this is to spread the wheat onto a floor made from stone, concrete or tamped earth and to beat it with a flail. This is no longer done in the developed world, but in some places where machines are expensive and human labor is not, manual threshing is still common.

Winnowing

The next step is called winnowing, where the loosened chaff is removed from the grain. The old fashioned way of doing this was to throw the grain in the air, where the lighter chaff would be blown off by even a decent breeze. The heavier grains would fall back to the ground below where they were thrown.

Read more: How Do Farmers Sift Wheat? | eHow.comhttp://www.ehow.com/how-does_4925686_farmers-sift-wheat.html#ixzz1FsSnIX2Q

So Satan desired to mentally beat the crap out of the disciples until they lose their faith. And he chose one of the hardest times of their lives, when their beloved leader Jesus would be crucified, to inflict his plan.

People believe the lies of the enemy daily, and in that process he is sifting people like wheat. He tells people everyday that they are ugly, stupid, unworthy, unloveable, unteachable, destined to be a slave to certain sins and habits their whole lives. I am confident in many areas of my life, but I have insecurities and low points that replay in my head at the most inopportune times that cause me not to try. Some people can’t even imagine their lives different from their current dysfunction. That cycle of mental pain is equal to be sifted, I think.

In what ways might you be tossed and torn about in anguish? Is your diet causing your demise? Are certain attitudes about yourself causing your life not to be abundant? Let’s pray for ourselves and one another that we can maintain our faith and love in God during trials and be willing to address those attitudes in our lives that cause us to continually fail.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

“Christmas” Everyday

Tags

Christmas, Jesus

 

This is what the LORD says: “Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the heavens, though the nations are terrified by them. For the practices of the peoples are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel. They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter. Like a scarecrow in a cucumber field, their idols cannot speak; they must be carried because they cannot walk. Do not fear them; they can do no harm nor can they do any good.” Jeremiah 10:2-5

 

 

My Grandma has looked at me like I was crazy three times in my adult life. The first was when I cut off my shoulder length straight hair for a teeny weeny afro. The second, when I told her I didn’t want to eat pork anymore. And on Thanksgiving, when I told her I wasn’t putting up a Christmas tree. “Christmas trees make you happy,” she said, sort of playing, but there is some truth behind her thinking. This is the “holiday season” where there is this ideal of Christmas trees, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, presents we all cannot afford and for what…the celebration of Jesus’ birth? If we think about it, do we really feel like we are honoring Jesus spending money we don’t have and decorating our homes with symbols that we really don’t understand? We have done these things our whole lives; the tree, the presents, the Santa (don’t even get me started on Santa), and at the end of the day, many people who celebrate Christmas every winter don’t even believe in or have a relationship with Jesus.

 

Christmas is a cultural holiday, fueled by business that generates billions of dollars every year. You can watch a whole day of TV this time of year, and see commercials, movies, sitcoms and the like that talk about Christmas, but don’t talk about Christ. Talking about Christ is offensive, and even our thin celebrations of his birth like nativity scenes and school plays have been stripped of any mention of Jesus Christ. So why do so many people celebrate Christmas, a supposed celebration of Jesus being born, and they don’t know anything about Him, or believe He was born in the miraculous manner He was? You don’t see the whole nation celebrating Ramadan or other “religious” holidays, because we don’t believe in it. It doesn’t discount others beliefs, it is just not a national belief.

Anyone who has ever worked in retail knows that the Christmas season is the absolute worst time of year to be of service to anybody. People get more rude and mean the closer it gets to December 25. It is no time of relaxation, fun and family because you are constantly working. Do any of us ever really experience this so-called “Christmas spirit” that we are being told we should be feeling right now? We are waiting and waiting for the day to arrive, and we may have one quick prayer at dinner time, we rip open a couple presents and the Christmas spirit is over. Is that really glorifying God?

What if we celebrated the birth of Jesus everyday. Given the fact that we have no way of know when Jesus was born, and there is no place in the Bible that says that we should be celebrating what we know now as “Christmas,” I think it is up to the body of Christ to let the nonbelievers know what Jesus’ birth means to us all, not just on a government appointed day, but any and every day. Why can’t we buy gifts for those we love, have family get togethers and love on one another in Jesus’ name any day of the year, and not just December 25. We don’t need a tree, or egg nog or Santa Claus to do that. Let us not be so caught up in the man made holiday that wants after our money. Let’s remember that Jesus was sent here to set us free, love us and in turn we share that with everybody. And please, please, please, stop teaching your kids about Santa!

But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out,“Abba, Father.”  So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Galatians 4:4-7

 

Never Too Early To Think About New Year’s Resolutions

Tags

attitudes, Jesus

We always make stupid and silly resolutions to do things that we haven’t prepared to do, or so not line up with where we are in our lives. It is hard to set a goal to lose 100 pounds, when the steps to those goals aren’t clearly outlined. And we often make goals to make physical changes, and ignore our spirits and emotions. Telling your self, “I will not be an emotional prostitute” would enhance your life just as much if not more than working out every day. But we’ll talk about that another day.

In 2011, I am not offering my help to people who do not explicitly ask for and seemingly desires it. I will be nice, kind and generous without ignoring my own personal boundaries.Even Jesus, the Messiah of the world, didn’t push his ideas and relationships upon people. He answered questions of those who asked him, and he approached those seemingly down trodden. But when someone disagreed with him, or didn’t do what he suggested, he kept it moving.

This idea made me think about the story of the rich man and Jesus in Matthew 19. A young, rich man who is obviously familiar with who Jesus is and what he stands for, approaches him and tells him he has followed all the commandments, but is still lacking something. Jesus told the rich man to give away all his possessions to the poor and follow him. The man walked away sad. Jesus didn’t chase after him, and beg him to listen to everything he had to say. Jesus told him the truth when the man asked him a question. He didn’t ask that man to do anything different from any of his  disciples. Instead of the man being obedient, he took the direction as a judgment of his decadent life.

Sometimes you can tell people the truth, and either they can take it as wisdom or get offended. Who’s problem is that? Jesus did his job. He told the man, with honesty, what will lead him to eternal life. It wasn’t Jesus’ fault that the man didn’t accept that. People believe all sorts of things…that doesn’t mean it is true. Man once believed the Earth wasn’t round. And some people in your life, even though they come to you for help, won’t accept the truth from you.

We cannot allow people who are stubborn or disobedient to discourage us from being nice, giving and thoughtful. Imagine if Jesus would have been offended by this man, and said, “you know what, I’m not telling anybody else the truth because nobody listens to me.”

I think it is a waste of time to continue to beat our beliefs over people’s head, and repeatedly offer them things that they do not desire. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be kind, or continue to pray that someone is healed or delivered. But putting ourselves in positions to be offended is not what God designed.

There are plenty of people who earnestly need our wisdom and advice. Why waste your time on those, who like the rich man, knew Jesus’ word well and chose not to follow it?

Cash (or Christ) Rules Everything Around Me

Tags

finances, Jesus

Does this get you excited? Or does God get you excited?

The ultimate symbol of status in our society is riches. People toil their whole lives for success at companies that make millions while they take home thousands. People go into debt for the appearance of wealth. Even if you don’t want the money, car, clothes or loose women (or men), so many people still want financial success as a top priority in their lives.

I recently watched a documentary called Born Rich about the heirs and heiresses of billion dollar companies and how they deal with their wealth. At first I thought, like a lot of us probably would have thought, “well, that’s a problem I would love to have; not having to work.” But as I listened to their stories it was clear that not only was money and success their dilemma, but these people had a huge hole in their lives. What does one do with their life when they don’t have to work? Secondly, when money controls who you are, where you can go, who you fraternize with and how people treat you, is there really a thing called financial freedom? These rich kids could do and be anything they wanted to do and be in the world and at the same time they felt useless.

When your life revolves around money, it really does rule everything around you. Rappers talk about eating, breathing, sleeping and dreaming about money. Even us who are striving for the story book middle class life are slaving away, sometime doing things we hate for money. Ladies, how many hours did you have to work to get that $1,000 purse? Men, how many hours did you work for that car? We all enjoy nice things, but are they ruling your life?

Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights, and was then tempted by the devil to turn stones into bread. “Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4). Are you being tempted by the enemy to live by bread alone? Are you being tricked into thinking that things, financial success and stressful work will give you happiness? Of course, climbing the corporate ladder is a great goal to have, but are your career goals trumping your spirituality? Are you living off the bread, the doe, the cream and the cash…or the word of God?

Money doesn’t give happiness. Some of the happiest people I know have been broke their whole lives. Never without food, shelter and clothing, but without an abundance of money. I am not an advocate for poverty, not at all, but I am an advocate for seeking Christ before career, cash and clothes. Those young millionaires would probably trade it all for peace, serenity, real love, security and stability, all things that they did not have. They can have that in Christ, but not in cash.

Jesus Christ, CEO: Why He’s A Better Boss Than Us

Tags

careers, how to, Jesus, jobs, recession

Everybody I know hates their job and has a list full of things that they would differently if they were the boss. Everybody wants to be the boss, yet hates taking orders from others. Every book or article published about careers encourages everyone to be a leader, to be the boss of their own business, and not listen to others. There is nothing wrong with the entrepreneurial spirit. If I was raised around the principles of entrepreneurship, I would have surely been one of those 14-year-old millionaires, working on my fifth book. But I wasn’t. My parents are hard workers who will retire from their second (or so) jobs. My dad always tells me that my sister and I have had more jobs in high school that he had in his whole life! Funny but true.

It is practical and sensible that we find ways to make our money in these uncertain economic times. However, I see an influx of self-made CEOs that know nothing about the ethics of running a business and disregard the most important factor of being a good leader: being a good servant. People say that they are service-oriented, but are they really? The best bosses I have ever worked for are people who come early and stay late. Bosses who can and will do every one’s job in the office if necessary, and are not too proud to fill in when bathrooms needs to be cleaned and snow needs to be shoveled. Wearing a title like a big piece of blinged out jewelery is not the only duty of a boss. A real boss sacrifices the most, gives the most and the first to take the brunt of any bad decisions on the behalf of his employees.

Jesus was (is) the biggest boss we have ever seen. I don’t care what Rick Ross has to say. If he had a resume it would read something like this:

Jesus Christ

(Nazareth)

Chief Executive Officer, My Father’s Business

Founder & Operator, Christianity

Objective:

To eliminate eternal death and increase the quality of life to current and future operators of franchise (John 10:7-10)

Skills Profile:

Recruited and managed diverse staff (Luke 5:1-11)

Provided hands-on and field training to staff preparing them for their own businesses (Mark 13:4)

Created grassroots marketing campaign to boost consumer awareness (Matthew 5-7)

Grew business from local to worldwide, multi-generational and demographic entity (Matthew 28: 19-20)

Developed fool proof formula for repeated success (Philippians 4:12-13)

Committed to service not only to employees but clients regardless of commitment to business (John 13:1-17)

*Several references available upon request*

The enterprise that Jesus started is successful because of the principles and tools he used conduct his business. He could have been a jerk and lived off the notoriety of his father. But he instead was a humble servant of the people, making sure he followed the principles that God put him here to do. He did not back down from any challenge he was presented with and infamously took the punishment that his employees and customers deserved in order to further the mission of his business. Many of us say we want to be a CEO, but how many of us are willing to do these things listed above in order to be a success? We would sacrifice for some diamonds, a new car and some new clothes. But how would we sacrifice to serve people?

Service isn’t flossy. It is often the worst jobs in the hierarchy of employment. Nobody wants to work at a fast food joint, nobody wants to clean cars or hotel rooms. We don’t want to do it, and are in turn rude to the people who do it. Like that is what they want to do it. Even in customer service call centers, the horror stories about those experiences over the phone makes it seem like their job is worst than going to the cross!

Having owned my own business, I realized that I was not as committed to service as I thought I was. I was not willing to go beyond the call of duty to please people. I was not willing to give more that was paid for. Small business owners are passionate. But many lack the service attitude that is needed to be successful. That attitude teaches us the “Golden Rule” that Jesus has tried to beat into the heads of mankind since he was crucified: treat others the way you want to be treated. Patience, kindness and generosity are attributes that rarely taught when it comes to success in business. The key to real success is not about who can be the biggest cutthroat, shrewd and jerk boss. It’s about being a good servant. Following the example that Jesus set out for us, regardless of what career path you pursue will always lead to successful life. People say many things about what it takes to be great leaders, but actually ALL good leaders are good followers.

Stoning The Sluts: Fantasia and Queen Latifah Face the Mob

Tags

forgiveness, gossip, Jesus, sex, sin, women

Queen Latifah and her alleged boo

It’s easy to look down on somebody. Especially when you’ve been reading the Bible for a few months, and know how to shoo away a few problems using the Word. It’s easy to look at someone’s bad situation and conclude, “well, that’s what they get.” Fantasia is the current punching bag of the internet. The singer allegedly attempted suicide due to an affair with a married man that was exposed on the Web. There may even be a sex tape, and we all know media outlets would pay top dollar to embarrass the former American Idol. Even Queen Latifah, the beloved blockbuster movie star, is currently the victim of vicious rumors concerning her sexuality. Many think that these two women will surely lose their elite status in the hearts and wallets of Americans because they are doing wrong.

Suppose these rumors are true. What if Fantasia really is sleeping with a married man, and Miss Dana Owens is gay as the day is long? What kind of punishment, from their “fans” do they deserve? I remember hearing a Jill Scott concert, and she said, “I am smart, have high self esteem, nobody would suspect that I, too, fell in love with a married man.” If Fantasia can make that same mistake, what makes her so different from the rest of us? If Queen Latifah has indeed been hiding the sin of homosexuality, is she so different from us who hide gossiping, lying, cheating and stealing?

It feels good to stone the sluts in our lives. If we have to compare our sin to others, we always look more victorious. “I am just gossiping, covetous liar, but at least I’m not a cheater,” is the reality of how we think. So how do we deal with people who sin to the point of embarrassment, or live of life of sin with no desire to repent?

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

John 8:3-6

There is a story in the Bible about an adulteress woman, who is almost killed because she is discovered sinning. She could easily be Fantasia or Queen Latifah right now! She is caught cheating and a mob is ready to stone her because of her sin. The mob brings her before Jesus, and say, well, according the Law, we are supposed to stone her. So what should we do? Many times when people are exposed as sinners, the first people who want to ruin them are the religious folks! A person may approach a Christian and say, “you heard what happened to Jane, what you think about that?” You are being tested, just like Jesus was, to see how you will react. If you go on to verbally stone a sinner, you are wrong!

Jesus, being the amazing, logical man that He is, said to the mob, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 3:7) If any of us have never done anything where we deserved death, according to the Law, we can condemn others. But the man who is perfect on this Earth didn’t even condemn her!

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”"No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

John 8:9-11

Jesus saves us from our sins, when no one else will. Imagine that woman, a known slut, living in a city where the people tried to kill her. But Jesus Christ, the top, innovative thinker of the time, tells everyone she that she is not a slut. She is supposed to hold her head high and sin no more. That is her responsibility to do, after Jesus helps her.

Though Fantasia may be a sinner, she is hurting inside

So what can we do for these women, besides talk about them like we have never done anything bad in our lives? We can pray that someone ministers to them, and that they have the courage to pursue a changed life. It is not Christian-like or nice to stone people when they are exposed. Christians have the key to change and new life, and who are we to withhold that, and instead give hate? Having compassion toward people who need it the most is what Jesus would do. So we should do the same.

Tough (Christian) Love

Tags

attitudes, happiness, Jesus, love, serenity, worry

To relieve the misfortunes of our fellow creatures is concurring with the deity; it is godlike. [But, he added,] if we provide encouragement for laziness, and support for folly, may we not be found fighting against the order of God and Nature, which perhaps has appointed want and misery as the proper punishments for, and cautions against, as well as necessary consequences of, idleness and extravagance?

Benjamin Franklin

Growing up, I was such a pushover. It’s not that I was scared of people. I just was never really taught how to say no. I went through middle school, high school, college and my early 20s before I was comfortable enough to say no to my associates and those I love. Many of us are plagued with being too nice. And as Christians, it is even harder! Who can tell Mother Johnson no when she asked can you help her tend her garden…every Saturday…for the next three months. Sure, you are not interested and you do have things to do. But will God look at us funny for telling people?

Once I learned how to say no, I was like a baby who learned her first word. I told everybody no! I went through a period where I was “doing me” and felt the power of no. And though it was hard to tell people I love that I couldn’t help them, I did it for me, and for them. There is truly a difference between being mean and helping people to make their own decisions. I have balanced my decisions with discernment and prayer, but even though I have moved passed being a people pleaser, I still sometimes, almost, kinda feel bad when I have to tell people no. And then sometimes, I think people need a dose of tough love.

Sometimes when we begin to learn about the love of God, we confuse that with being pitifully meek and turning the other cheek at every incident so that we don’t look like a “bad Christian.” Many of us over extend ourselves tirelessly helping people who choose not to help themselves, because we want to show them the meaning of Christian love. Of course, God wants you to overextend yourself to help those who need help, as Luke 14:13 says, “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind.” Are really helping those who are really in need, or helping those who are afraid to help themselves?

Enabling (doing things for others that they could or should be doing for themselves) cripples everyone involved. The enabler wastes time and serenity trying to make someone feel loved by doing things for them instead of letting them learn to do things for themself. The enablee reaps the benefits of spoils without emotional, financial or physical work. They never learn to face the ups and downs of life because people do it for them. Many people begin thinking they won’t survive unless people help them, and do not lean on the wisdom and values of hard work that is taught throughout the Bible.

People often say, “what would Jesus do,” when facing moral dilemmas, and when it comes to tough love. The first example of tough love in the Bible is how God treated Adam and Eve when they ate from the tree of knowledge. He surely punished them by given us menstrual pains (thanks Eve) and making Adam toil the Earth! Imagine if God would have taken it easy on them, or gave them another chance? Jesus healed sinners by attacking the root of their issue and rebuking their behavior. There was a process as He healed. He didn’t just give drunkards money for more wine. He removed their urge to drink and told them to sin no more!

We can help people to learn about God, but we cannot change them. I cannot make a man not steal. I cannot make my friends get a job. I cannot beg and plead for my relatives to do the right things. The decisions they make are their own, and I don’t believe that God wants us chasing after folk cleaning up their messy lives. God is the only being I know who can transform a person. And the last time I checked, none of us are God. We have God in us, and we can surely show who God is through are speech, behavior and actions, but there are some things in other people’s lives that we just can’t burden ourselves with. Saying no to someone you love just might be the best thing that can happen to them!

Does God enable us? No. Does he sometimes, a lot of the times, show us love in a very hands off approach? Yes. Can you say that you love Him any less because he has helped you to learn things by trial and error and not always mercy and grace? Even in trial and error, we are still given sufficient grace! As we examine our own personal relationships, it is important to look at what you expect from others. Do you expect others to erase your errors, understand your mistakes and guard you against the world? Are you more of an asset or a liability to your friends, family or community? Or are you in a perpetual state of “getting your life together?” Who do you expect to help you when you cannot help yourself…your friends, your family or God?

There is a thin line between love and enabling. Make sure that you are praying and talking to God in a rut, and when helping others so that you are not making someone’s life harder by stopping them from learning their lessons. If you are constantly feeling sorry for people or feeling sorry for yourself, I think The Serenity Prayer is one that addresses the needs of both parties. God wants us all to have a full and abundant life, and not be a burden to those, but seek to help those who are truly in the dark.

The Serenity Prayer For the Enabler and The Enablee

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

9 Things That Don’t Make You A Good Christian

Tags

attitudes, faith, how to, Jesus, music, relationships, salvation, the church, wisdom, worship

Wearing a cross necklace doesn't make you a good Christian either...

Since I’ve started this new, wonderful relationship with God, I have noticed that people are trying to prove to me that they know God too! It’s kind of weird, because there are people who have misquoted the Bible in front of me or been accidentally blasphemous, trying to show me that they know the Bible just like me.

People should strive to explore God personally and corporately through a church where they belong and not try to compare their experiences to someone else’s. So I’ve come up with a list of things that people should examine to make sure that they are working toward having the most quality relationship with God that they can have for them, and not for other people.

1. Not accepting Jesus Christ as your savior

If you don’t understand and accept what Jesus did for us, then you are not a Christian. Accepting that Jesus died for our sins is the first requirement to being a Christian. You may attend church, and you might believe in a “higher power” but if you don’t know or understand the sacrifice, you should do everything you can to understand that first and foremost.

2. Forwarding “Christian” emails

We all get emails from people talking about a sick kid or someone who died tragically that makes you want to cry, then tells you to forward it on to eight people if you are a “real Christian” and some “miracle” will happen. For like 10 seconds I feel bad for not forwarding those things on, then I remember that we cannot treat God like he is a chain letter or pyramid scheme. If you want to share testimonies or information about God, that is great, just don’t put stipulations on it that make people uncomfortable.

3. Knowing the Word and not doing the Word

There are so many people who can quote the Bible, yet do not apply its wisdom to their life. Even the devil knows the Bible! He uses it to confuse us! Knowing the Bible verbatim is wonderful and shows that you study, but knowing it and not doing it is a futile practice. It shows that you can memorize. A thing that people often pray is that they want to “not just be hearers, but doers of the Word.” Praying that God will help you to apply what you hear is a blessing!

4. Having a stanky attitude

God wants you to be nice and be happy. Point blank. Not, nice when people are nice to you. Not happy when all your bills are paid and people are acting right. Galatians 5:22-23 says: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Going to church, reading the Bible, but being mean to your waiter or cashier is not what God wants you to do. Waking up everyday, being sad and pitying your self is not what God wants you to do. If you are unhappy or have an “attitude problem” seeking advice from the Bible, and asking God for help is the way to change.

5. Threatening people with the Bible

When people talk about homosexuality, abortion and politics, they often beat people over the head with the Bible. They will tell people they are going to hell if they are gay. They will quote Leviticus and tell them they are dammed. I know what they Bible says about sexual immorality, but teaching people with love reaches them before beating them over the head with the Bible. It takes more energy to actually get to know a person and understand why they do what they do, and I think that’s why people choose to just write others off.

6. Not having a real relationship with God

A relationship with God is personal. It’s not going to be the same thing your mom experiences, or your best friend knows. It will touch the most important and specific parts of your life. I have a friend who took years to find her artistic niche in molding and sculpting clay. One day, she told me she was reading Genesis and noticed how God was a ceramicist too. That is a personal, meaningful relationship. You establish that by asking God to reign over your life, putting everything on the line. You allow Him to use your gifts to say what He wants to say. And you thank Him for your life, and pray to Him to help you and others. So many people fake that to their own detriment, just to sound like a Christian in front of other Christians. Jesus said, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 7:21)” I surely don’t want to be on the other side of that fence.

7. Worshiping other things than God

Imagine on Judgment Day that there is an account of all the money we’ve spent, the time we’ve spent doing everything we’ve done in our lives and what has moved us the most emotionally and intellectually. How much time, money and energy have you spent on knowing God versus knowing other things in life. Have you been more engrossed and involved in sports, music, career, TV, dating, drama, etc. than learning who God is? It is an emotional, intellectual and spiritual experience that takes a lifetime of learning. Are you dedicated to that or something else?

8. Listening to Gospel music

Gospel music may help you feel better, remind you of scriptures and can serve as an alternate form of entertainment, but do not base your relationship with God off of it. Music can help you to praise and worship God, but it should not be the only source of your Word and relationship with Him. You should be able to feel better, know scripture and worship God with and without an organ present or a Mary Mary CD. Gospel music definitely fills a gap, and helps us to praise and worship God, but it is only a tool and does not make you sanctified.

9. Being a Professional Sinner

Not wanting to change and not wanting God “all in your business” will lead to a life of professional sin. We all sin, so they doesn’t necessarily make bad. Recognizing your sin and changing your life makes you a person who really understand what God is all about.

Why Christians Need To Do Better

Tags

Clutch Magazine, evangelism, Jesus

Below is an article I’ve posted from Clutch Magazine from an educated black woman who has several issues with the church and church folks. I read this article and was saddened because hew experiences are not what Jesus wanted when He died on the cross for her sins. The whole black church experience is intimidating and overwhelming to so many people, WE as Christians need to do a better job of educating non-Christians on what it is we do and why we do it. Because many people don’t necessarily grow up in a religious household (me being one of them) it is a different ballgame trying to explain what Christianity is to someone who doesn’t know Christ’s tenants. Let’s work this week on being more understanding, listening more and being better friends to our non-Christians friends so that they can know Jesus through us.

Outside The Flock

Monday Jun 28, 2010 – By Jamilah Lemieux

If you go to a large gathering of Black folks, say a funeral or a graduation, more often than not there will be an acknowledgment of Jesus Christ through prayer and song. Next time you’re at one of these events, sneak a peek around the room during that time. You’ll likely see a couple of folks shifting around awkwardly. Heads bowed in respect, but visibly out of their element and anxiously awaiting the return of the ceremony to a more neutral territory. Chances are those folks are non-Christians: very awkward and sometimes lonely club of those who for whatever reason don’t belong to the approximately 85% of African Americans who belong to a faith that claims Jesus as lord and savior.

As a lifetime member of this subset of Black America, I have a complicated relationship with the Black church. For starters, I think it would be incredibly unwise for any Black person to deny the debt of gratitude our community owes to the church for the work it has done for our people. From Reconstruction to the Civil Rights Movement and beyond, our Christian houses of worship and their members have done a great deal to fight for our rights and provide needed services ( childcare, homeless shelters, rehab facilities, etc.) to our people. I first visited my now alma mater on a college tour organized by Trinity Universal Church of Christ, led by Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Growing up in Chicago, I always admired him along with a handful of other preachers for being outspoken advocates of the needs of Black Chicagoans.

The impact of our churches on Black culture (or perhaps I should say, the influence of our culture on the church) is a great one and I am not immune to that either. I’ve certainly hollered out “Amen” and “Lawd!” or felt the need to “testify”. Though I’m not a subscriber to the main idea, as someone who is interested in who we are culturally and creatively, I see a lot of the beauty of Blackness in the church and I can appreciate that. The church has given many of us the opportunity to shine creatively though song and dance and though I don’t particularly like Gospel music, I am well aware that without it, a lot of my favorite singers would have never honed their craft.

I won’t get all the way into my reasons for not accepting Christianity, because I don’t think they have much relevance here. However, I will say that the proselytizing I get from Christians has been more of a deterrent than any sort of incentive to reconsider my beliefs. I don’t always feel that I’m given the same space to embrace my views that some of Christ’s followers demand for themselves. I’d never think to say to a Christian “You know, you should really consider quitting the church and trying to see the world my way…” and I’d like to be shown the same respect.

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